Election Year Blues

Iowa Caucaus Post Mortem. Memphis Earlene thinks all white guys look alike.

Source: Election Year Blues

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Election Year Blues

It’s the day after the Iowa Caucus. Memphis Earlene, Latte Woman and I are sitting on the Virtual Verandah with our beverages of choice (Southern Comfort, Triple Soy Mocha, and flat Coke Zero, respectively) parsing the results.

“Best possible outcome,” I say. “Bernie and Hillary tied.  Trump lost.”

“Ted Cruz won.  Like there’s some difference?” says Memphis Earlene.

All white guys running for President look alike to  Memphis Earlene. Even Bernie Sanders.  Put them in a police line up she wouldn’t know the difference.  And all those Republicans sound alike, namely ignorant on purpose.

“Can I get some love here for Hillary?” I ask.

Silence.  Uncomfortable, because it reminds me how many people think it won’t matter to them who gets elected so they won’t vote.

Hitler came to power on a close election.

“Grudging affection, maybe,” Latte Woman concedes.

latte womanLatte Woman, like me, is a Yellow Dog Democrat.  If Jesus  was running  for President on the Republican ticket against a yellow lab Democrat, she’d vote for the dog .   This doesn’t change the fact that she’s not happy with the available choices.

Too many went to Harvard.  They all go to Church, except Bernie.

“No one who expects to be raptured should be making foreign policy decisions,” Latte Woman says.  “I want big decisions made by  people who think this is the only world we’ve got and want to pass it on to their grandchildren.”

“Other eligibility requirements?” I ask.

She’s got a little list.

“  Everyone has to have gone to public school or been in the Army.  Quotas for lawyers, and no one who made Law Review.  ”

No more reserved parking.

NO more flying Business Class.

If you want to run for President you fly steerage like the rest of us.

“This isn’t practical,” I tell Latte Woman. “You can’t expect the Secret Service to sit in steerage.”

Memphis Earlene is rapidly losing interest.

“Shit rolls down hill, no getting around it, no matter who’s elected, ” she says. “And if I want to watch a horse race I’ll go to the track.”

Unlike me, Memphis Earlene did not major in American Studies.  In order to convince her that this election matters  I’d have to be a Charismatic Civics Teacher.

Like the ones I had in high school.  Or Elizabeth Warren.blue lunacy

To be continued, I expect.











Posted in Banality of Evil, Blues, Humor, Iowa Caucus, Politics 2016, Religion | 5 Comments

New Years Resolutions Blues

Welcome to the Virtual Verandah, which is getting crowded.  Meet Latte Woman and her White Male Companion, our Political and Cultural Correspondents.


latte woman white cat

Memphis Earlene  doesn’t like the looks of the new arrivals.

“She looks like one of those Talking Heads on TV and he’s just coughed up a hairball,”

“It’s an election year.  I need someone who reads the papers and has Opinions,” I explain to Memphis Earlene.

Latte Woman reads the New York Times, which she refers to as “That Right Wing Rag”.

She’s an Anti-social Socialist, a Secular Humanist with no faith in humanity, and she has Feline Dependency Issues.

I’m hoping she will help me jump start this blog, which is one of my New Years Resolutions.

I’m hoping she and Memphis Earlene will hit it off, given enough time , Southern Comfort, and Caffein.

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Roots: An Interview with Memphis Earlene

Source: Roots: An Interview with Memphis Earlene

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Sandra Bland Blues ( with a side of Cosby)

Memphis Earlene and I are on the Virtual Verandah with our beverages of choice–Southern Comfort for her & a Dark and Stormy for me to match my mood, because I still read the papers. Sandra Bland’s death at the hands of Texas style law enforcement is very much on my mind.

s.nothing to wear blues“I didn’t know you could be thrown into jail for failure to use your turn signal in Texas,” I say. “ In Virginia they just give you a ticket. At least that was my experience.”

“It’s called driving while black,” says Memphis Earlene, who prefers to take the Metro.

“ Something real ugly about a bunch of guys in uniform, public servants, picking a fight with a woman. Telling her to put out her cigarette? That’s not proper law enforcement. Cop should have given her hell for bad driving and then write up the ticket–or better yet, let her off with a warning. She’s no physical threat. And even if she gives you a bit of lip, that’s no excuse for going postal. She’s a woman in a suit , not a gang banger.”

“Driving while black and female,” says Memphis Earlene.

“And what about Bill Cosby?,” I say. “Why did he have to drug all those women? That’s the dating strategy of loser guys who couldn’t get lucky any other way.   You mean to tell me he didn’t have options?  ”

Memphis Earlene puts her hands over her ears.

As a disenchanted Woody Allen fan I can appreciate the trouble she’s having shifting gears.    But right now I’m not seeing much difference between Bill Cosby and those white Texas cops.

Posted in Banality of Evil, Bill Cosby, Misogyny, Sandra Bland | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

More Angry White Guys with Guns Blues

Memphis Earlene and me on the Virtual Veranda reading the New York Times and the Washington Post. Memphis Earlene sips Southern Comfort while I rant.
She takes mendacity in high places for granted.
I’m always surprised.
It was the Washington Post Headline that set me off.
“Roof’s Manifesto: I Have No Choice!. Like there’s two sides to this issue and maybe the guy is just  a crazy loner instead of a  terrorist !”   
Memphis Earlene just shakes her head.
“Dylann Storm Drain, Damn. Looks like John Boy Walton with even worse hair.”
“It’s Roof, not Drain,” I correct her.
” Makes no never mind,” says Memphis Earlene, “Sounds like one of those porn star names . ”
“Mom’s a Storm and Dad’s a Roof and they both liked Dylan but wanted to be different.”
It’s possible .
Maybe he had no choice.blue lunacy

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Birthday Blues


April 20……..Hitler’s birthday. Mine as well.

I’m in a Doctors waiting room in Amherst Virginia, been here for two hours, FOX NEWS on the TV. Springtime for Hitler doesn’t feel so much like a joke. I got a tick bite, but a good dose of anti-biotics will ward off potential Lyme Disease.

Fox News, on the other hand?

“Happy birthday” says the receptionist.

As birthday parties go, this one’s crummy.

When Ford Madox Ford was my age he looked like an old Walrus. Or else he was dead. One of the All-Stars– wrote THe Good Soldier and Parades End, which are still very much alive.

He beat the reaper.

I might not live long enough to finish my masterpiece.

“Don’t fret yourself,” says Memphis Earlene. “

You can grow old with the Blues, she reminds me.

That is, if they don’t kill you first.

“If the Blues were going to kill you you’d be dead already,” says Memphis Earlene.

“‘ You get to be an Old Blues Woman in this lifetime”blue crazy.”

Not that I’m there yet.

Not old enough.

Posted in Blues, Book, Existentialism, Humor, Literature, women, Writer | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments