Shopping Blues Deux

Posted on May 26, 2012 by
Some rescue shelter dogs and feral cats.   I rescue  fashion mistakes.
Right now I’m wearing  a previously owned Yohji Yamamoto woolen sundress I found at Second Chance, Bethesda for a fraction of the original cost.
It’s two shade of brown, like a Siamese cat.
You can wear a dress like this and blend in New York City but it stands out as “different” in Washington DC.   It’s too avant garde for the office and not telegenic.  And no one wears brown wool in the summer, which seems to start sooner and end later every year.
Memphis Earlene likes the new rescue .
” Now you won’t look all covered in cat-hair after Cosmo sits on your lap.”
Scarlett, my fashion advisor, thinks the dress is pretty ugly.
“Maybe it’s an ugly dress to you but I feel pretty in it,” I explain.
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Cocaine Blues.

Posted on May 18, 2012 by

Memphis Earlene says she’s been part of my life since High School, when Ann Mintz left her Dave van Ronk at the Folklore Center album at my house.  The first time I heard Cocaine Blues I could feel it in my fingertips.  There are times when the right piece of music can save your soul.

I couldn’t sing, still can’t, but I could play guitar in a primitive way.  Cocaine Blues felt like something I could learn to play if I worked at it.

“It was me,” says Memphis Earlene. “My spirit was in your fingers.  You were in sore need.”

Mozart gives me a headache.  Opera puts me to sleep.   Only in recent years have I been able to appreciate classical music.    I don’t worship at the house of blues on a steady basis but I derive comfort from knowing they’re available when I need them.

You can grow old with the blues. They’ll keep you company.

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Homesick Blues

Posted on May 4, 2012 by

I left New York because I wanted off street parking and NYC was no place to raise a golden retriever.  It’s been exile ever since.

I live in Washington DC. in a New York frame of  mind.

I have off street parking but I don’t like to drive.  I can’t have a golden retriever because they’re not allowed in the building.  I can’t vote except in local and Presidential elections. Washington DC has no Senators.We have a Congresswoman, but she’s not permitted to vote on the floor.

“You could always move,” says  Memphis Earlene.

I love my neighborhood. I  love my apartment, which has two walk-in closets,  gets plenty of light,  and is rent-controlled.  A New Yorker’s wet-dream of an apartment.  No New York girl gives up a rent-controlled apartment in a good neighborhood without a court order.

“Voting is overrated.  It only encourages them,” says Scarlett, my fashion consultant.

 

 

 

Posted in Blues, Humor, women | 4 Comments

Hoodie Blues

Posted on April 10, 2012 by

I walk the mean streets of  Georgetown with Blues Avatar Memphis Earlene Gray, and Scarlett Ginsburg, who is a dybbuk.  She is  also my fashion advisor.  In a gesture of solidarity  I am wearing the black cashmere hoodie she found for me at Second Chance.She wants a pearl handled  Susan Komen foundation  Hope Edition  pink Walther P-22′s  and a pink cashmere hoodie .

” In Florida I could have shot any any man on the street who hassled me,” I say wistfully.

“Get real,” Memphis Earlene says. “How threatened did you feel in Key West?”

“I’m talking about home,” I say.

Memphis Earlene sees where I’m going with this.

” You don’t shoot some fool who don’t know how to behave in public just because he makes animal noises at you and grabs at your ass,” Memphis Earle says. ” It’s got to be more personal.”

Scarlett weighs in. “If I  was George Zimmerman’s fashion adviser I’d  say ditch the orange shirt.  He should wear plaid.”


Posted in Blues, Humor, Shopping, Trayvon Martin, women | 6 Comments

Birth Control Blues Part Deux

Posted on March 20, 2012 by

Birth Control Blues Part Deux.

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Birth Control Blues Part Deux

Posted on March 19, 2012 by

Mean reds, baby, on top of the blues

Mean reds, baby, on top of the blues

When you got the mean reds, you need the B-52′s.

“Every Sperm is Sacred just became the national anthem,” I say. “Rick Santorum isn’t kidding.  ”

Woke up this morning in a state of Feminist Rage.

“Don’t pay it no mind,”says Memphis Earlene.

Two negatives mean twice as negative in Blues English, unlike the Queen’s English where they’d cancel each other out.

Scarlett weighs in.  She’s a dybbuk, not a Blues woman.    She died of complications following a botched illegal abortion in 1956.  It was performed in a kitchen with yellow linoleum on the floor.  That’s the only detail she remembers clearly.

“Wasn’t it weird to see the B-52′s on TV? Like they suddenly got old overnight?” Scarlett says.

Dybbuks have no sense of time.  Scarlett will be 19 forever.

“The B-52′s are not old.” I remind her. “They are mature. “

“You can’t be mature when you’re singing Love Shack,” she reminds me.

Scarlett thinks ‘mature’ is the ugliest word in the English language next to Santorum.

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Birth Control Blues

Posted on March 12, 2012 by

Memphis Earlene and I are speechless with rage these days, hence the decision to invite Scarlett Ginsburg  to write for this blog.

Scarlett died of complications following a botched illegal abortion in 1956. She’s a dybbuk. Dybbuks are Jewish ghosts who haunt people, not houses.  The good side of being a dybbuk is you don’t age, so are spared the risk of botched face lifts.

She’s jealous of me because I went to college in the era of Birth Control pills, back when they were cheap enough for a college girl on a small allowance.

I could afford to make mistakes without paying for them with my life.

If birth control had been readily available in  Virginia, Scarlett would be an aging superstar with a huge gay following, at least in the South.   Her idol was Tallulah Bankhead.

“What’s this was?” says Scarlett.  ”I hate it when you talk about me like I’m not even there.”

Expect to hear more from Scarlett.

Posted in Blues, Religion, women | Tagged | 1 Comment