Definition of Hubris: Losing 5 pounds and deciding to get rid of all my fat jeans.

“You’ll be sorry,” says Memphis Earlene.

“Do it anyway,” says Scarlett, my Fashion advisor.”You can always get more on ebay.”

Definition of neurotic: Losing five pounds and wondering if it’s  an early sign of ovarian cancer instead of the result of more exercise and eating less.  T’ai chi  twice a week.  Sushi instead of pizza.  Seltzer instead of coke.

”  NO one gets neurosis anymore,” says Scarlett.  “You’re just an old fashioned worry wart.”

“You’ve just got the blues,” says Memphis Earlene . ” Take 2 CDs of  Lucinda Williams, a shot of Jack Daniels and call me in the morning.”

Scarlett has a better idea.

” Go through your closet, get rid of everything that makes you feel fat, anything you can’t imagine wearing again, every shopping mistake.   Especially the ones with designer labels.  There’s a lot of trapped energy in your closets–perfectly nice stuff that needs new homes.”

Even more fun than shopping–re-cycling.