February Blues

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Got no money but I’m wearing Gucci Shoes/ Got no money but I’m wearing Gucci Shoes./ Been to Filene’s Basement. Done shopped away the blues.

It’s the middle of February and I have the Blues. Filene’s Basement is dead and gone.    This time for real.  No comebacks planned.

“There’s always e-bay,” says Memphis Earlene, ever the pragmatist.

“E-bay is virtual shopping.  Just like Facebook is virtual hanging out, and blogging is virtual conversation,” I say.

“Something wrong with being virtual?” she asks, in that dangerous tone of voice that means Back Off.  And I usually do, but not today.

” Virtual is not the real thing,” I say. “It bears the same relation to reality that Diet Coke bears to Classic Coke. And I’m sick of it.”

Memphis Earlene suggests I go outside and hug a tree.

“There’s a cure for the February Blues, ” she tells me.  “It’s called March.”

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blues, Humor, Shopping, women | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Election Year Blues

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Memphis Earlene does not understand how a young woman in her right mind would want Newt Gingrich in her bed.

” If you stuck a fork in him he’d bleed  ugly sauce. Looks like a Serbian dictator on trial for war crimes, ” she says.  “Big windbag like most politicians.”

“This is Washington,” I explain.  And then I give the Henry Kissinger quote about power being the greatest aphrodisiac.

“KIssinger got it wrong,” she says. “It’s the reverse. ”

Memphis Earlene’s idea of aphrodisiac?The Reverend Al Green’s voice or  Bill Clinton’s handshake.

We watch  President Obama channel Al Green on Youtube.

“Extended the Bush tax cuts.  The continued erosion of civil liberties in the name of national security…” I mutter.

Memphis Earlene doesn’t even try to resist.

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New Year Blues

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Memphis Earlene Gray

New Year Blues.

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Shopping Blues

Posted on December 17, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Memphis Earlene and I are in New York City for the Weekend, and I am taking her shopping, which means a whirlwind tour of Second Hand and Consignment Stores.  At Angel St. (118 W. 17th) we bought 10 hair bands because they were only a dollar apiece and they were the only thing we could fit into. Lots of cool looking clothes, none larger than size 6.

Uptown, Designer Consigner prices seemed astronomical, but I managed to find a few things in my size, a sort of largish medium in real life.

“That’s a lot of money to spend on used underwear,” Memphis Earlene said, regarding the  Prada T-shirt I almost bought for $80.

It was time to visit the Museum of  Modern Fashion aka Barney’s.  This year Barney’s famous Christmas window display has a Lady Gaga theme, as do the Barney’s shopping bags.  If you’re not a fan the connection between Lady Gaga and Christmas seems strained.    At the BArney’s Coop Shoe sale I wept to see shoes I adored and could almost afford.  None in size 9. This seems to be an ironclad law of the universe: there is always a tremendous selection of shoes in the size you used to wear, back when you never could find shoes in your size.

At the Barney’s Coop Underwear Sale I ran slightly amok over joyed at finding things I could fit into.  Memphis Earlene made gagging noises when she saw the tab.

“Investment purchases,” I told her.  “And actually, I’ve saved a lot of money once you take into account the original prices for those ten headbands I bought at Angel Street.”

 

 

 

Posted in France | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Joan Didion Blues

Posted on November 23, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

 

Joan Didion Blues

I’ve always envied Joan Didion for her glamourous life.

Her style, her marriage to a fellow writer who adored her, her ability to walk in high heels.

Like the red sandals with their four inch high heels (Christian Loboutin?) she mentions in Blue Evenings.

The ones she hates giving up because she can no longer walk in them.

I’ve always had to wear sensible shoes and I’m short.

I’ve never been able to wear Christian Laboutins, or Jimmy Choos, or Manola Blahniks.

High heels are integral to glamour.

I’ve always longed for glamour and I’m short.

Do you have any idea how out of the question hard it is for a short woman to achieve glamour in sensible shoes?The best I can hope for is  not to look short and stubby, and not to stand too close to women in high heels, because I’ll feel even shorter and stubbier.

I know she’s been through hell, the past few years so I should let go of those red high heels.Besides I have the important part : shared life with the love of my life and a nice apartment.

At least for now.

Even without high heels Joan Didion still has glamour

Posted in France | 3 Comments

Occupy Wall Street Blues Part Deux

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Memphis Earlene and I attempt to have a Serious Political Discussion without resorting to buzzwords or cheap shots.

“A big difference between my generation and Occupy Wall Street is no one’s trying to blow up the Bank of America building to make a statement.  Instead they’re closing out their accounts,” I say. “Much more effective. ”

Latest headline, straight from Daily Kos, my new preferred source: “Occupy Atlanta Encamps in Neighborhood to Save Police Officer’s Home from Foreclosure.”

Yeah, Police are still beating up demonstrators, but no one’s screaming Off the Pig.

“Don’t bad mouth the Sixties,” Memphis Earlene says.  “Not everyone was an asshole.”

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Occupy Wall Street Blues

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Occupy Wall Street Blues.

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Advice to a Young Blues Woman

Posted on October 16, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Dear Memphis Earlene,

I’m quitting my IRS job so I can be a full time Blues woman.
What do full-time Blues women wear?
Sincerely,
Heather Chang

“Someone had too much fun in a karaoke bar,” says Memphis Earlene. “This is so wrong I don’t know where to begin.”
“I used to work for the IRS. We’re not all soulless drones.”
“That’s the point,” she says. “You don’t quit the day job until the blues starts paying your rent. And what kind of a name is Heather?”
“She’s one of your few fans. So write her back and be nice about it.”

Dear Heather,
Blues women don’t wear suits. If you’re Big Mama Thornton you wear whatever you want. You can’t go wrong if you call yourself Big Mama.
See for yourself. Sincerely, Memphis Earlene Gray

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Savage Homecoming

Posted on September 6, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

Memphis Earlene and I got bumped up to Business class on the flight home from France. Unlike me she’s hard to impress.
“Yeah, the seats are bigger, the drinks are free, and they serve better food. But it’s still airplane food,” she says.
The sauce on the salmon filet was overly assertive, the bread was less than fresh and they didn’t have Memphis Earlene’s favorite apperatif.
“And here I thought you hated France
“Au contraire.” she says, and gives me that look.
You can’t have the Blues in France. The Blues come afterwards, when you’re going through withdrawal.

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The Yemen Blues

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Memphis Earlene Gray

The Yemen Blues.

Posted in France | 1 Comment